One of the most enigmatic aspects of the French culture is the notion of “la bise” – the ritual greeting among friends and acquaintances where kisses are exchanged on either cheek.
As a rather reserved person, I was utterly stifled the first time I was introduced to this habit when visiting France in the seventh grade. I remember my host mother grabbing my face with such vigor and planting sloppy wet kisses on both of its sides. This practice continued with my host father, brother, and three sisters. What a sight it must have been to see this shy tiny girl, who at the time did not speak much French, utterly thrown into this madness of the French bise with a bunch of enthusiastic strangers!
Now ten years have gone by, during which many more interactions with the French people have occurred and the understanding of the language has been entrenched… yet I still find myself in kind of a small panic when I have to perform the bisous with certain people I meet. For some French, they understand that Americans are obsessed with their personal space and thereby only offer a handshake. For others, they forget that I’m a foreigner and treat me with the same respect as they would with their French colleagues. And for a few others – notably the children at my school – they are deeply in awe of the amiable language assistant and desire to share their affection in any way they can. Yet each time I cannot tell what is expected of me, throwing me off ever so slightly.
Having done some research on this subject, I have come to discover that the bise is also a mystifying phenomenon for the French themselves. A full list of questions spring up every time the action is passed:
- When do you faire la bise?
- Whom do you offer it to?
- What cheek do you start on?
- Must you actually touch/kiss the check?
- Must you make the kissing noise each time?
- How many kisses are required? (One website even shows a map of the number of kisses each department of France typically gives: http://combiendebises.free.fr/).
It’s a convoluted process that requires more thought and contact with those you meet, provoking you to throw down your beret and pull out your hair. In the long run, all the bise really means is “Hello, I’m glad to see you today,” which I guess in turn is something nice.
Ergo, we may never master the art of the bise. Like everything else here in France, it will forever remain in theory the simplest of acts but in reality turn out to be much more difficult.
No comments:
Post a Comment